Percy Jackson and the Groceries?
by tallvious
Summary: When Annabeth and Percy go grocery shopping together for the first time, what could go wrong? Everything. Featuring fibre-1, real-life fruit ninja, and a fight between a a branch and a carrot stick. Oneshot.


**A/N Okay, so I'm walking in a grocery store, with my cherry coke, and all of the sudden I start thinking of Percy Jackson. Cuz, you know, the cherry coke. Then, I start thinking, what it would it be like when Annabeth and Percy go food shopping together? UTTER MAYHEM is what would happen! So, this fic was born! So, enjoy and…. REVIEW! And this is important: the POV is of someone who CANNOT see through the mist, so the carrot stick annabeth has is actuallu her knife, and Percys branch was Riptide**

For the average onlooker, the young man and woman in the grocery store might seem, well, average. And in that context, they were quite average. Just a young couple that just moved in together out shopping for groceries for the first time. And that, my dear reader, was the problem.

"Okay Percy, what's next on the list?" The girl asked. She was tall and lean, with a tan and curly blonde hair, which was pulled into a ponytail. She wore jeans and a blue hoodie, slightly unzipped, showing a grey tank top underneath.

"Uh, milk. Then cereal." Percy answered. He was tall too; his girlfriend only came up to his chin. He looked pretty laid-back, with basketball shorts, flip flops and messy black hair that looked like he just got out of bed.

"Okay," The girl responded. She turned the cart, and started heading down the cereal aisle. Halfway down, she stopped and examined the choice of cereal. Percy reached out and grabbed the nearest box of Froot-Loops. The girl snatched them out of his hand.

"Annabeth! What's wrong with Froot-Loops? They don't have _that_ much sugar in them." Percy whined, still eyeing the cereal.

Annabeth guffawed loudly. "Not that much sugar? The first ingredient is sugar! There's absolutely no way we're buying those!" She picked up a box of Fibre-1 "Now, these are good for you."

Percy looked horrified. "But, Annabeth. Those make you, you know," He whispered, looking around to see if anybody was watching, "Poop!"

"I know Percy! That's why they're called _Fibre_-1, Seaweed Brain." Annabeth rolled her eyes dramatically. "Okay, we'll get Special K. It tastes just like Rice Krispies, which I know you love, but with half the sugar" She grabbed a jumbo box of Special K and turned the cart in the direction of the milk aisle, where they picked up a carton of 2% milk. You guessed it, they argued over what percentage of milk to get. The tension was getting thicker. And when they arrived at the vegetable section, could barely walk through without getting stuck in it.

Percy had just whined about getting so many vegetables, when Annabeth pulled something from her sleeve. It was a carrot stick.

"Perseus Jackson. We are mortals, not gods. We need to eat nutriously and not just inhale smoke. We need be healthy. You should know that from so many years at camp!" Annabeth said through her teeth. Percy pulled a pen from his pocket and clicked it. It magically elongated, and transformed into a spindly stick.

"You wanna go Chase? Right in front of all these mortals? Really?" He said with a smirk. "There's no way you can get me."

Annabeth circled around Percy and placed her carrot at the top of his spine. She slowly dragged it down until it rested right above the small of his back. Percy's face looked contorted in unimaginable pain. "Annabeth. You can stop. Fine. We can buy the vegetables. As many as you want. I'll turn vegetarian, just so I can live of those delicious things. Just stop, oh my Gods, that hurts. Annabeth!" Percy pleaded. Annabeth finally took her carrot off of his back. As soon as she did, Percy popped up and swung his stick. Annabeth quickly lifted her carrot, and stopped the stick in its tracks.

"Oh, its on Jackson." She said with a sly smile. That's when total chaos started. They swung and blocked and lunged and fought with such skill with a sword that no one in the 21st century has. They chopped at the orange stand, spilling oranges all over the floor. A couple watermelons were sliced right in half, which didn't make any sense. How could a stick slice a watermelon? They were getting right in the zone, when finally the manager came down.

"STOP!" He yelled, sticking himself between the two fighters. I swear Percy's stick went right through him too, but it didn't do anything. The manager looked slightly confused for a second, but then went back to normal.

"What do you think your doing?" The manager commanded.

"Just buying our groceries, sir." Percy said slowly.

"And destroying our produce department in the process?" Percy looked around at all the fruit on the floor, and all the sliced watermelon.

"Get out of my store now, young man."

"But, we didn't pay or anything. Shouldn't we help clean up?" Annabeth grabbed Percy's arm and started dragging him away.

"No. Just take your food and leave. I never want to see you two around here again."

Percy started pulling the cart in the direction of the door, with his head hung low. Annabeth slid her carrot stick back into her sleeve, and Percy somehow turned his branch back into a pen, and stuck it in his pocket.

"Well, I guess we need to find a new grocery store." Annabeth said.

"Wow. Good one, wise girl." Percy said. "Hey, do you think we could stop at a gas station, and get some Or-"

"No."

**A/N: You have absolutely no idea how weird it was to write an action fight… with carrot sticks and a tree branch. That was fun. Anyways, I hope you liked it! It wasn't that good, because I was just writing a Leviathan oneshot where I was using all this fancy vocab and completely had to change the tone yada yada yada, so forgive me if the ends horrible. REVIEW!**


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